The gravity is working overtime again...the corners of my lips are getting pulled down subconsciously, yes i blame it on the extra pull of gravity.
when your world's all topsy-turvy, when everything around you is changing, you just want some things to stay the same, to be stable. to be your pillar of strength, your source of comfort, something you can rely on to feel safe and secure when everything's upside-down and all around. well, i want that.
but you can't always get the things you want. in fact, it seems you can't ever get the things you really want. whatever it is, it's just that it's this period of time i wanna hide somewhere and be allowed to just. cry. and have someone just hug me and let me feel secure. [not tell me everything's gonna be alright, coz we both know it won't. duh.] aaah!!! i'm not depressed k. it's just... i wanna just let myself go.
have no idea what's going on now. first, nearly got knocked down by a lorry just now.. listening to my mp3 and not knowing that the lorry is reversing. second, i spend one entire hour on one qns of maths tutorial.. not that i dont know how to do.. just that.. suppose to integrate, i differentiate. supposed to mutiply by 2, i divide it. and i can actually trip over my ipod wire and fall.. and obviously the ipod dropped. argh. i slept at 9+ last night... just feeling tired but the moment i lie on my bed.. i felt so awake.. and end up sleeping at 1.45am yes spent 4h++ staring at the ceiling.
i'm broke!! $40 every 2 weeks.. investment on eyedrop. gosh so not worth it and im broke. forget it.. not as if it helps. next week i'll just die. ok im joking and my phone bill!!! got to pay it myself this month just becos it exceeded (by a lot) =X but 70% are contributed by dancers can?! some unknown J1s keep giving prank calls/smses asking abt audition but end up never come =X and some like sms asking me for my bdae.. (like why do u need it for?!) ok maybe they arent J1s. not sure. oh sigh.
you know the feeling of just lying there the whole day not doing anything at all? just do nothing but stone. i feel like doing that now. or perhaps have a race with the wind on ur blades... going a such a high speed and later crash into the tree and u-know-what-will-happen-next but before that i need new ball-bearings for my skates.. or maybe kayak with the storm... and got strike by lightning and the paddle splited and get ur hand burnt.. like last time.. ok im really joking. dun start coming to me and tell me everything will be fine and dont think abt it
i hate school now. dread going to school.. partly it's becos of.. and partly becos of dance. ok i shall shut up abt this.
havent been seeing my parents for the past few days. they only come home when im sleeping and when im awake, they're still sleeping and i have to head off for school =X oh well, it just feels like last time when im alone at home with my brother when the whole family went china. but but.. i got my dog's company then! ARGH! oh well even when they're around i can hardly talk to them.. if you care.. give me a call.
Lies are meant to be told.
Promises are meant to be broken.
Faith are meant to be lost
Dreams are meant to be crushed
Wishing hard doesn't help remove the bitterness of regret of things I could have done.
someone asked me why is my blog always seems so sad, so depressing, so emotional. what do u think? blogs are for letting out isnt it? it's my way of releasing. im sorry. so when i dont blog for a long period of time.. dont urge me to blog... cos im happy =) haha. i dun know what talking me. ok period. i need to rest.
kidnap me. please