no blogging mood..
//period
kidnap me. please
-maths test today. too tired too sick to study last night.
-leave sch at 9.30am (too sick to stay on)
-right after the maths test
-cant attend colosium..
-feeling so sick during the test and my mind isnt working properly
-didnt finish the paper
-went to the doctor..
-gosh he gave me a jab..
-painful.. he spent like dont know how long.. finding my veins.
-lousy..
-feeling tired after taking medicine.
-tmr's my cousin's wedding.. going church in the morning.
-random.
kidnap me. please
till now.. u still do not mean what u say..
//NUM bag.. i dun want it anymore though i love it so much..
kidnap me. please
just lies.. i knew it all along..
it won't be tainted by the ugliness now. and sometimes i wonder why one so close could feel so far away. why we can't talk anymore. why little things you do or say matter to me, yet you can't see. and why, you can't understand what i feel inside. and what, you're supposed to be the one that understands me best? well it sure doesn't seem that way. coz if you do, i wouldn't feel so sad right now. sad, that you can't understand me at all. sad, that we just don't see eye to eye no more. sad, that you matter more to me than i to you. sad, that you don't know how i feel, what i think inside.
and just coz i don't voice out the stuff that's troubling me, it doesn't mean i'm all fine and dandy. just coz i don't show it, doesn't mean i ain't squirming inside. and none of you know this. and all this time i'm just here, standing by the side, wondering what's going on in that mind of yours, wondering if there's perhaps this chance you'd let me inside. wondering if the moments we shared before, where we could still talk about everything to each other, were a thing of the past, and would remain that way.
well. whatever it is, i'm still here. just that shadow that's behind you as always, ready to catch you if you fall, if you let me. the shadow that'll always be here for you, even though you don't see me. even though it doesn't seem that way.
the shadow that's always gonna be one.
the shadow that's always here for you
the shadow that's passive.
the shadow that'll always be with you.
the shadow that's crumbling up within, behind you.
the shadow that's trying to be strong for you.
the shadow that seems to disappear when the sun comes up strong, yet is always there, smaller coz you don't need me.the shadow, that remains unseen
kidnap me. please
highlight of the day: me and reny ate ice-cream in GP lesson!! haha.. actually.. the whole class was always eating (we were given permission to do so.. cos Mr yeo says he rather us eat in class than to sleep in his class) but this time round.. it's ICE-CREAM! haha.. siwee, willie, tian hong, ryan ate too.. (oh it's them who bought it for us by the way)
hmm sch ended at 5.05pm went to tpjc bus stop to change bus as usual.. met joshua (from sajc) haha!_______________________________
me, "hey! how's the soccer match? SA vs RJ at tp uh?"
josh, "ehhh? 1-all"
me, "hey seriously, u look short in this uniform.. know why? SA.. diff colour top and pants.. then u wear ur pants at ur butt there.. make ur legs look shorter lah"
josh, "u jealous lahz.. that im taller than u.. haha.."
me, "u are just taller than me by a little lah.. from far u look shorter than me! pls lahz.. u J2 already but still so short.."
josh, "jealous.. jealous.. haha..dont need jealous lahz.. haha.. "
joshua (from tpjc) "BOO! (from behind)"
me, "ahh.. hello!! branson-joshua! haha(oh i love to call him that.. his name is just nice)"
joshua, "hi haha..lol.. u very funny"
josh, "huh?"
me, "er nono he's called joshua too! hahahaha"
_______________________________
(18/4) yesterday:
morning was spoilt. yesh. went to sch, met chrest and she told me she's not going E.T. then hwei ting came.. and she told me there's a high chance she's not going too.. cos her dad.. blah blah blah* and then chrest told me ain's thinking of backing out.. argh! right now, im just praying for a miracle.. pls pls hwei ting! let it happen.
then we had econs.. Ms sue gave back our scripts and guess what? everyone failed (badly). haha highest 5/20! haha
(how pathetic)
well had chemistry test today too.. gosh.. 3 long qns.. many parts.. 40 mins? 1st part wrong.. all wrong! yah.. so it's either u get really high or low.. yupz. well it sux. first qns already do not know how to do! yucks
cca is cancelled. sorry haoyi, haha.. supposed to go home with u after my cca.. but too bad.. since no cca, i go first lahz.. lolz. opps.
on the way home with andrea.. haha
ok i cant wait for thur.. TPJC vs MJC! soccer match.. Venue: TPJC! haha.. ok the whole big group of us (ex-tpjians) are going back to support... MJ.. lolz.. (sorry lahz.. even though we all miss tp, but we cant support tp in mj uniform right?) .. cant wait for sat, tpjc carnival! haha.. then after that.. eufouria gathering!!! lolz i miss my tk ppl! haha..
_______________________________
(19/4) today:
yay! hwei ting going E.T. with me! but then.. ain backed out!!! argh..
period.
_______________________________
somehow i miss you. sometimes. yet at other times, it seems like you weren't ever in my life. oh wells.i miss you too. but i don't want to.
and i miss you. kinda saddens me how i hafta find out more about your life through your blog. and why we can't talk like last time anymore. it's quite painful in a sense. that one whom i'm supposed to be closed to once is so distant from me now, and all i know is the stuff i read from some online diary thingy that the whole world reads as well. like i'm standing from afar watching you live your life with no part for me, no part with me.
for the gap in my heart you left, i'll fill it with brownies and chocolates and icecream and milo dinosaur... but it'll never be the same. i'll just get fatter and the food will just rot, but the hole you left will never be repaired to make me whole again. please understand: it's not that i'm hurting over some relationship -_- [erps.] it's that i'm hurting over a lost friendship.
kidnap me. please
forces, mole concept, redox, kinematics, functions, trigo. yucks.. cant believe my troubles revolve around these. i need a life.. period.
june hols.. expedition around ubin in kayaks! anyone? msg me!
"world is cruel, love is blind. lost in sadness, blur in mind. time has passed, flames have died. heart is broken, (HE's) she's not mine."-kouped from jinghuang's blog from terence's msn nick =) haha
Happy Birthday TAN SIYING!!! and GRACE TEO ZHEN LAN!!! (haha)
[i really have no idea what i want in life. and at times, i feel like a zebra. completely unknown to what i really am. constantly asking myself if i'm actually white with black stripes or am i just black with white stripes. a confusion of both.]
kidnap me. please
someone told me that this is bag is limited edition.. hmm but it's just so "un-limited" to me.. it's just so common.. check it out.. hahahha
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kidnap me. please
i wanna smash myself against the wall
or dump myself into a blender
maybe let the dogs eat mushed-me
and nothing i shall remember.
and all the things that i regret
(i really wished there was a way)
flushed with me down that toiletbowl
(to perhaps erase some parts of today)
ah. raah. i suck right. i just don't know how to handle things well, handle them properly. and i end up screwing everything up, even myself. oh wells.
harsh words and hidden secrets that nobody knows. so many tricks and so many lies. burnt out, wasted, im feeling completely empty. today is just yesterday's tomorrow. dont expect much for im warped and twisted. a simple void, is that what ive really become? the hollowed sphere on the pendulum swinging back and forth. am i just like it? never stopping and never ceasing motion. no reasons, no answers, no justifications. just passing through time as time passes me by. slowly i fade in and out of reality - my heart empty, my soul torn apart. wondering where i went wrong. i ask, i question, i fantasize. only to find there is no answer. leaving me anything not but empty.
______________________________
good choice of template.
lime green and black.
her favourite colour(?)
the names on the taggie.
bring Joy to (everyone) u..
well..
u had never wanted a blog when i asked u then.. but.. now u even call/link me the way she calls/links me.. im no longer in wonderland.. this is the reality..
i realised, ive not been strong afterall..
kidnap me. please
As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Til the end of time, forever
You're the only love I'll need
In my life, you're all that matters
In my eyes, the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me
When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you
Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you
It's all brand new
My life is now worth while
I can't imagine me without you
When you caught me I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard my calling
And you rushed to set me free
cant imagine me without you.
______________________________
anyway, HAPPY BDAE NICOLE TAN! haha.. hope u are reading this though..
oh and today thanks lahz.. got conned so many times yaya.. happy april's fool day!
kidnap me. please