Sunday, April 09, 2006
i wanna smash myself against the wall
or dump myself into a blender
maybe let the dogs eat mushed-me
and nothing i shall remember.
and all the things that i regret
(i really wished there was a way)
flushed with me down that toiletbowl
(to perhaps erase some parts of today)
ah. raah. i suck right. i just don't know how to handle things well, handle them properly. and i end up screwing everything up, even myself. oh wells.
harsh words and hidden secrets that nobody knows. so many tricks and so many lies. burnt out, wasted, im feeling completely empty. today is just yesterday's tomorrow. dont expect much for im warped and twisted. a simple void, is that what ive really become? the hollowed sphere on the pendulum swinging back and forth. am i just like it? never stopping and never ceasing motion. no reasons, no answers, no justifications. just passing through time as time passes me by. slowly i fade in and out of reality - my heart empty, my soul torn apart. wondering where i went wrong. i ask, i question, i fantasize. only to find there is no answer. leaving me anything not but empty.
______________________________
good choice of template.
lime green and black.
her favourite colour(?)
the names on the taggie.
bring Joy to (everyone) u..
well..
u had never wanted a blog when i asked u then.. but.. now u even call/link me the way she calls/links me.. im no longer in wonderland.. this is the reality..
i realised, ive not been strong afterall..
kidnap me. please